It’s Me or the Horse: Family, Friendship, Dogs, Divorce, Narcissists, Healing and the Chestnut Mare who gave me voice.

“I want you to stop horseback riding so that I don’t have to work, and I can focus on writing my screenplay,” my husband said at the celebration dinner for my new six-figure job. I had worked for months to get the offer, and it would finally allow me to take horseback riding lessons at the little farm up Topanga Canyon more than once a week. I had been aching to get back in the saddle, something I loved throughout my lifetime.

Chad was a writer, director, and producer for reality TV, and I had a modest-paying job in content marketing. We lived a simple life in Santa Monica, but my new career changed everything.

“You’ve married the wrong girl.” I thought to myself but didn’t dare say out of fear of the temper for which he held a reputation.

It was never about the horse. It was the question of what I was willing to give up for an idea of us. It was the fallout if I betrayed the half-truths, mistruths, and denials that I grew up with and accepted as a good “Preacher’s Kid”. This was my breaking point and I had a choice. Lose me… or lose the horse.

This is the story of the friendships and animals who helped me find my voice and the courage to heal.